“It’s Ok, I’ll be fine, stop mothering me.
Go to the shops like you wanted to.
I’m just going to lay here awhile
and float, switch off for a bit.
I know it’s the floor behind the settee
but it’s comforting and soothing
it’s like ‘Furniture Heroin’
Don’t be so silly, I won’t suffocate
and if the house catches fire
there are exit holes at each end.
Thank you for your concern
but you are starting to make things worse
and I don’t have a paper bag to breathe into.
No, I’m not starting anything,
I’m not even in the room…properly, anymore?
I know how much you are trying, I’m trying too,
I just need half hour to myself right now.
It’s not selfish at all but it is important.
Ok, I’ll watch out for spiders,
yes, get me 12 cans of Lynx (yellow cans)
and 20 Regal King Size (blue ones)
Alright, I promise to be out when you get back,
can you just leave the bag of beer and fags
outside the garden shed door?
I’m going to try to invent something
this afternoon…from balsa wood and excuses!”

Written by Paul Tristram


Available to buy via Lulu


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