She sat on the yellowing white plastic picnic chair
to the left of the front door of her little bungalow.
Squinting down the pleasant, gentle slope of lawn
to the road and pavement full of ‘Idiots with nothing
better to do with themselves’ and shook her wrinkled
fist at a double-decker bus full of scratchy school kids
going past and muttered aloud “Scruffy Little Herbert’s!”
Then slipped into a bread and butter pudding reverie
for ten minutes or so before shrugging herself out of it
by coughing and farting at exactly the same time.
“78 this November…not a sodding penny they’ll get!”
A teenage couple had the misfortune to stroll by,
hand in hand, smiling, blushing, happy as Springtime
and madly in love, it was a beautiful thing to behold
She threw half a cup of cold tea, hard, upon the grass
towards them and cursed loudly in a shrieking voice
“He’ll break your heart love, cheat on you, his eyes
are full of it, he looks like his father, a bastard also!
She’ll give you a dose of the pox boy, there’s a slut
at work behind that false smile, it’ll all end in tears,
mark my words, you dirty, filthy pair of Bastards!”
Written by Paul Tristram
Available to buy via Lulu