POETRY: PLAYING DAISY BY PAUL TRISTRAM

“I’m pregnant Mom, look here’s the test, see!”

“Oh My God, you’re only 16 years old,
you haven’t even got a boyfriend,
who did this to you?”

“I don’t know, we were playing daisy?”

“Oh Jesus, how many girls were petals
on the flower that day?”

“12”

“And how many boys were bees?”

“18”

“18, are you all mad?”

“Aunty Jean said that you two played daisy
once when you were teenagers!”

“What the hell is she doing telling you that?
Oh wait until I get my hands on her.
And when we played, by the way,
there were only 2 petals and 2 bees.
18 bees is disgusting!”

“Look, I’m sorry, I was just playing daisy!”

“Ok, I know, I know.
Right, don’t breathe a word of this
to your father, I’ll deal with him.
You’ve got 4 weeks to find a boyfriend
or you are ruined, fact!
And I don’t mean one
who just wants to play daisy either,
we need a nice, caring lad.
I suggest you try and get one
who wasn’t there that day, if you can?
It would be much better in the long run.
Right, out of my sight, I need to think!”

Written by Paul Tristram

Barstool

Available to buy via Lulu

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