“I know what it must look like
but I am not a prowler,
burglar or other such villain.
I was coming home
from playing whist
and happened to get caught short
and my little flat
is still a good 10 minutes away.
I saw the outside light on
and the side door was open,
I was wandering these corridors
looking for a toilet, is all.
But, it’s too late now,
I may as well have carried on home
when I felt it brewing in importance
in the first sodding place.
At least I wouldn’t have so far
to walk to clean myself up.
Thank you for not hitting me
with that metal flashlight.
I swear, If I hadn’t have been
‘Touching Cloth’
I never would have ventured in here!”

Written by Paul Tristram


Available to buy via Lulu

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